It’s This That I Use My Dominican Girls For
I am sure I can infer with the type of conversations I have over heard from the older Dominican population here in New York City. They probably would not consider me to be Black Dominican until they hear my views on how I identify myself.I have always felt like an outcast Dominican. Growing up in New York City I was exposed to all different types of things, from music to culture nothing is the same. I love my culture, the music it has created, the food (especially the food!) and the art. My favorite things about Dominican art are the blank faces, Muñecas Limé. This is a traditional style of Dominican art; they create these dolls and painting typically of women with blank faces.
Throughout the journey, I started feeling comfortable. I remember feeling very uncomfortable with my own hair when it was straightened. It was a very weird feeling that I did not feel with my curly hair. Throughout the journey I also realized that I was black. I remember having arguments with my friends because they didn’t believe I was black.
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And finally, I found a field of information that explained me—my existence. I remember the first time I heard the term “afro-latino”. It was during a lecture at Rutgers University where I met one of the founders of the Afrolatin@ Forum. I quickly adopted the identification, so happy to have found something that described me in one word—or described my journey of reclaiming my blackness.
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Some Americans automatically assume that you are just African-American once you’re dark skinned and I feel like it’s an ignorant assumption. I’ve seen fair skinned African- Americans and not once did I assume they were Caucasian. Although I grew up in New York, I didn’t learn how to speak English till I was in the 4th grade – and boy my accent was thicker than a snicker to the point where my classmates teased me for it. My family only spoke Spanish as they were the first generation of my family who made it to the Americas. I grew up eating tres golpes, arroz con habichuelas, pernil etc. Also grew up watching nothing but novelas and inherited the Dominican culture of dancing merengue, bachata and salsa.
However, the more I read and engaged in dialogue about afrolatinidad, I learned that adaptation of such political term takes a process. I am not ready to call myself ‘black’ without thinking about the implications that it might mean to my Black-American friends. I am not ready to claim things that do not reflect the way I was raised. And I hope for those of you who have made it this far to read my essay that you do not feel discouraged or think that I somehow am rejecting my blackness because I am not. Yo soy Dominicana until the death of me; I will continue to eat that sancocho made by the slaves; I will continue to dance to the African rhythms within our music. To be Dominican and Black is to be Dominican at heart—not to be Black like in the eyes of White America.